I went to see my OB/GYN yesterday for a routine visit, however this time I had many questions to ask. I had thought it over for sometime that I wanted to try to have this baby natural (no c-section) and I did read that it was possible from stories of many other mother's in my situation. See the difference is this wouldn't be a normal V-BAC because most V-BAC's are done after one c-section. Since I have had two c-sections it changes the rules.
Even thought most women can have a successful V-BAC after more than two c-setions it is more risky. There are many factors why it can be more risky. Usually it is because the scar hasn't had enough time to truly heal to handle the throws of contractions and tearing can occur with serious bleeding. Now I understand this when you have babies every two years or less, but it had been 6 years since my last c-section and I know I am a better candidate for a V-BAC.
However even after all this information I looked into, when I talked to my doctor (who I have had since I was 16-and who delivered both my children and MYSELF) I have a lot of trust in this woman. She has done this job for 30 years and have seen many changes in rules and regulations and why they were brought to be. Even still I wanted her to tell me that I could try to have this baby naturally.
After we talked for about 30-45 minutes she told me that the college of medicine in OB/GYN has strongly recommended not doing a V-BAC after two c-sections. She told me that yes some doctors/midwifes etc.... still allow this practice and she said it can have about a 60% success rate, however it can also have some high risks as well. She told me that at Carle they follow the guidelines set forth by the college of medicine in OB/GYN.
So that left me with two options. Either change doctors and hospital or stay and realize that my hopes for a natural delivery will never happen.
Many women would look at this and say who cares you still get your baby either way, and there can be perks to a c-section. The problem is as most know, I had a horrible experience having Jack. It was a miracle that we both came out of it healthy and OK. It was traumatizing. So when it came time to have Alex it had only been 19 months since my bad experience and I was terrified of doing it again so I opted for the c-section. Even Alex's birth had it's complications. The delivery went great but I ended up with a spinal headache due to the epidural. I also had problems with breastfeeding that even after I was told the two had nothing to do with each other, I am still convinced that the c-section messed up my hormones.
So after both of these experiences and being a little older and having time pass, I wanted to give it a try to have a baby normally. So when I was told this wouldn't happen, I was crushed. I don't want to leave my doctor she is amazing and she is truly caring to my feelings. She understood why I felt the way I do,and she gave me examples of other cases before the rules were set of a few instances of V-BAC's that had complications. She told me if any guidelines change before I am due she would consider it, but she doesn't want to risk it.
I told her how I feel like I play NO part in having my children. I mean I don't give birth-they are removed (like a mass), I don't get to see them born, I don't get to hold them right after they are born, heck I don't even get to see them (except for a quick glance and kiss) until an hour plus after it is all done. C-sections are the most impersonal way to bond with the child you have carried for 9 months. I mean I do all this work and go through all this discomfort and I don't get anything from it as it happens. I know I still get my baby and I know back in the old days it was the way things were done, but we have changed and I think knowing the options women have now when it comes to having their babies, makes me so upset that I still have to have the 1940s version of having my baby.
We talked it over and I asked her "what if we take the curtain down so I can be more involved" and she said that wouldn't be a problem. She told me that I couldn't really still see anything, and that the curtain is to keep fluids from splattering on me, but I told her I have worked in the vet field for years and getting my fluids splattered on me would be the least gross of things I have had splattered on me. She laughed! I then asked "what about a mirror"? I wanted a mirror if I had them naturally so why not while having a c-section?? She told me that is a great idea-she said no one has ever asked to watch. I told her I have assisted in many surgeries and it won't bother me a bit and I will be so much happier and I will feel I am actually doing something.
So what it comes down to after my pages of writing, is that I cannot have Kian naturally, I will have to have a c-section, but my doctor is trying to accommodate me in anyway she can to make this experience so much better, knowing what I have been through with my other two.
Also the appt. went great, he is such a little mover every time they try to get a heart rate he moves around it's pretty funny. He is ornery!! He is healthy, mom is healthy, I have only gained 11.5 lbs and I am over 1/2 done so I am happy with that. Other than our talk it was a pretty uneventful visit. :)
Until next time
Liz
